For some
parents, the outcome is quite desirable and encouraging, but there are many
more parents that have been left with frustration and disappointment when
things do not go as what they have planned it to be.
Why?
If we analyse the reasons why some of the efforts
failed to materialized in the end, there are 2 key areas to look into as
follows:
1) Internal (self):
·
Feeling
of boredom with the subject or class, due to lack of interest/passion/drive.
·
Feeling
of fear and wanting to avoid facing reality when the child lacks the required
strength/capability for the subject or class, or when the pressure they received
from the parent or teacher has exceeded what they can tolerate.
·
Feeling
of unfairness, where some child will purposely go against what their parents
want them to do to draw attention from their parents as a sign of protest,
usually when they are unhappy with certain things that their parents have done
to them.
2) External (Environment):
·
Problem
with others like teachers and friends, e.g. Fear for a teacher causes
unwillingness to attend classes taught by that teacher.
·
Peer
influence. To some child, friends are their world; they will try their best to
be like their friend in order to fit in.
So from
what we can see above, in order to solve the problem from internal/the child, communication
is crucial in finding out where the problem lies. Therefore, parents need to
spend some time to talk, listen and understand what their child’s interest and
strength really are, or try to guide them to find what they really want. At the same time, parents should also not
pressure their child as pressure will cause someone to lose appetite and
interest in things that they are doing.
For
external influence, if the reason is due to the quality of the teacher, the
parents can try to change a new teacher for their child. That is the easiest
solution among all problems identified here.
It is more
difficult to solve problems cause by peer influence and it requires more time
as well. Parents need to talk and explain to their child why they should not
follow everything that their friends do. Try to justify everything you say and
treat your child like an adult when you talk to them. You need them to respect
you because you are right, not because you are forcing them using your
authority as a parent.
Parents can
also arrange their child to join healthy activities or society groups, which is
another good way to avoid your child from mixing with bad companies as they now
have more chances to mix with positive minded people.
All that I
have mentioned above is the more traditional way to solve the problems faced by
parents today, which is through communication. There are other ways to know
what the strength of the child is and under what circumstances can they produce
maximum performance. One of the ways is through Bazi or Four Pillar of Destiny
Analysis (one type of Chinese Astrology). I will briefly talk about the 10
types of profiles with its strengths and weaknesses, and everyone will have 1
of the 10 profiles as their main trait, and some sub traits from the other profiles
as well. As this is more technical, I shall discuss it in part 2 of the
article. To be continued.